Summer SAD - Maybe I'm NOT Going Crazy?

Okay, according to most who know me, I probably already am crazy. But I think this may be different - really. I've made no secret of the fact that I'm going through the dreaded menopausal phase of life, and have pretty much blamed every ache, pain, and negative thought on my hormones. However, this summer things became so much worse. I remember it started during our June flyball tournament. All of a sudden, I couldn't stand to be outside in the heat and sun, even to walk our dogs. If I had to be outside longer than a few minutes, it could bring on a full-blown anxiety attack.

I started calling myself a vampire - I hibernated during the day and only went out in the evenings, after the sun went down. I would hate it when the dogs asked to go out when Del, my husband, wasn't home to walk them. Our air conditioning went out one day, and the panic attack wasn't pretty.

Besides our webstore, we also vendor at dog sport events. Although we rely on that income since I lost my full-time job in May (after 13 years of service), we had to cancel several trips because the thought of traveling in the hot sun was just to much to bear - what if we had car trouble and didn't have a/c?

We stopped going to our flyball practices - it was just too hot. I became reclusive. If I had to go out during the day, I would take a cooler of ice, a battery-powered fan, and lots of cold water with me - "just in case". I didn't communicate much with my friends. Hard to explain why I didn't want to meet them for lunch, or go shopping, etc. In my head, it just sounded silly to say I couldn't go out because it was too hot. I was depressed, I was sad, I was anxious, I was frustrated. I also cried a lot.

After getting my hormones tested, it was confirmed - I was in perimenopause. So, I tried researching menopause related anxiety. Not much helpful information, except to take hormones or go on antidepressants. I didn't like either option. Very small doses of Xanax only when things got very bad helped, but still, I really hate having to take anything.

Then, finally, a cool spell for a whole week - the temperatures went below 90 degrees. It was wonderful! I took the dogs out for walks, I practiced flyball with them in the back yard. I sat soaking in the sun and it felt great!

Then the temperatures went back up, and I am staying in the house once again. At this point, I'm watching the forecast and getting excited that this coming week the temperatures will once again be under 90.

That brings us to tonight. Del is a musician (born in Canada) and belongs to a Canadian classic rock email group. He really does glean a lot of useful (and not so useful) information from that group! Tonight, there was a posting about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) on the list.

Del hadn't heard of it, so he proceeded to look it up. While reading about SAD, he found out there is actually such a thing as REVERSE SAD - an extremely small group of people are actually affected not by winter, but by summer. There doesn't seem to be a lot of information about it, except that it isn't known if it is caused by the sun or the heat, and there isn't really a treatment for it (winter SAD has a few different treatments, one of which is light therapy). Antidepressants have been found helpful in that they can lower your body temperature so that you don't feel as hot, but again, not crazy about taking meds here.

I don't know why this started affecting me this summer, but I guess I can still blame that on hormonal changes. I do feel validated, at least in a small way, just knowing that there may be an explanation other than I'm going crazy.

I would very much appreciate getting feedback from anyone else who has gone through this, especially if you have found anything that could help.

Ilene.